The Importance of being a Parent...........

My husband and I both grew up without our fathers having an Active role in our lives. I mean we obviously knew we had one (the birth certificate says we do) but that is really about it. Divorce, the ending of the union betwen a man and woman, but does it normally mean the kids too? From my experience it seems that my mom got the kids, he got his freedom. Even exchange? He thought so. We sometimes have hilarious discussions on what we would do and say if they ever tried to contact us and wanted to reconcile. (I am so ashamed of my responses) I  mean we are both now in our 40's, we don't need a daddy, really? (my words) I mean what could you possibly have to offer now? What reason could you give that would be satisfying to me so I would forget all the years that I wondered why wasn't I good enough to be a part of your life? There are so many reasons for Parents to be a part of their children's lives. Off the top of my head, I can come up with several.....

1. They are God's Blessing.
2. LOVE.
3. They are an extension of you and your legacy.
4. Someone took the time to raise you.
5. They didn't ask to be here.
6. Protection and Guidance.
7. My personal favorite.......The saying "You're going to need me before I need you" can be applied to Parents as well.

The last one is really my reason for writing this. It just so happens that this was the case in our home just two days ago. I wouldn't say that I have any special powers (finding a good sale doesn't count, does it?) but I am a good judge of character and I spoke on this matter the day before it happened. I speak trifing so I can hear it coming from miles away. So here is the scenario:

Phone rings.....

Husband: Hello
Stranger:.....Uh hey, it's your daddy.
Sleepy Husband: Who?
Stranger: It's me Ray...
Husband: Ummmmhmmmm.
Stranger: How are you?
Irritated Husband: Fine, you?
Stranger: Not so well, see my car's been in the shop..........Can I get some change? You know money?
Husband: (Silently saying to himself, Why did I answer the phone?) I know what change is, How much do you need?
Begging Stranger: What can you send me?
Angry Husband: (an octive higher) What do you need? I'll talk to my wife, I'll let you know.
Humbled Stranger: (In a stepinfetchit slave voice) I's shol do preciate it. Thank cha, thank cha.

At first I'm like the nerve of this dude. He didn't do a damn darn thing for his kids and now lookey lookey (my Martin Shanaenae voice) here it is that he wants someone to show some kindness and help him with money troubles. I thought about all the money troubles his mom had raising 4 boys with no help. Could she have used some change? Oh yes the Mahalia Jackson she could have. Did she place a humble call to him to receive it? I'm sure she did. If nothing but pleading with him to come see his boys. Sad just sad. Happens all too often. We got to do better.

The most important question here is: Will you be just like him or better than he was to you? My husband decided to be the better one and offer his help. (This time...his words) No need to make his lot in life worse. He's already suffering. He's probably living with tons of regrets. No need to rub it in. Besides my husband called him back so that after our 17 years together, I could talk to him for the first time. If ya'll know me and my investigative questioning when it comes to money, he would have probably preferred to rob a bank for that $100.00. That was the pay back.

All this to say...If you have kids, regardless of the situation between the mother and yourself, take care of them. You may never know when you may need them to take care of you. Will they be there when you weren't. Be a Father to your child.

Had to get this off my chest. Of course this is from my perception.